Hi there world, it’s been a little while! This summer I’m diving back into my hobbies so I won’t find myself burnt out again this January after what I know will be a very tiring holiday season. I’ve been playing the piano, learning to sew, reading books and playing Animal Crossing, all in hopes that I’ll find ways to actively rest during the craziness of my busy season. But I also really love to write, so I feel like it’s due time to sit down and put into words what God is doing in my heart.

This year has been a doozy. I’ve always had other one-day-a-week jobs on top of my full time job doing art, not because I need to but because I love to be outside of my home and surrounded by friends. Well I did, at least, until my car broke down and we had to sell it, leaving me at home alone all day every day while Phillip takes our one car to work. I’ve become a full time artist in every sense of the word and now spend my days painting, taking care of our animals, and cleaning our home. And at first it was really fun doing what I’ve always dreamt of doing, but after a month or two of feeling stranded at my house with a to-do list never gets any shorter, I found there were more days than not where I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t leave my bed. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t muster up the energy to overcome my sense of defeat and without anywhere to go I could never find the energy to even just change out of my pajamas.

And then in May my mama came to town with vitamins, a daily routine to get me out of bed, and a new Bible study. She cleaned my house, dried my tears, gave me vision for my life, and got me back on my feet. I started reading in Haggai, and even though I read the Bible all the way through a few years ago, I somehow completely forgot about this book when it was exactly what I needed.

“‘You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?’ declares the Lord Almighty. ‘Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.'” -Haggai 1:9

You see, Haggai was a prophet of the Lord who was sent to God’s people to bring them back to Him. The Lord wanted to be their first priority, and while the children of God hadn’t been outwardly idolatrous, they had put building their own households over worshipping and serving God. And because of this, the Lord had been thwarting their way to bring them back to Him.

I feel this so very deeply. I may not have been purposefully choosing to worship other things, but I’ve been so focused on my own home. I’ve been wrapped up in Phillip, our house, our dog, our friends, my art, and everything else that I slowly but surely stopped waking up and asking God to guide my steps. I’d forgotten how important it is to put the Lord first, to prioritize worshipping Him and spending time with Him. I’ve been building my house on my own when I have the beautiful reality of a God who wants first for me to set my eyes on Him, and then to be brought into my days. I serve a God who longs not only to be first, but to build my home with me, to be invited into every part of my life and transform every broken and lonely piece.

“‘But now be strong, Zerubbabel,’ declares the Lord. ‘Be strong, Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the Lord, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” -Haggai 2:4

The Lord doesn’t take their hard work away, they still have to build His house, but He promises that He is with them. How beautiful is that? I serve a God who gives purpose even to the most mundane, unseen, and tedious tasks because He is with me. When I put Him first and see my work as worship, when I start my day with prioritizing Him and then bring Him into my days, He makes even the most lonely days beautiful because they’re days I spend with Him. I get to vacuum, paint, love on my neighbors, pull weeds, call my grandmother, fold our laundry, and walk our dog all for the glory of God. I get to do all of those things with my God, and I get to hold onto the promise that I’m never alone.

Friends, the same is true for you. My prayer is that you’ll also put the Lord first and see how He transforms your heart and your life. My days may still be filled with the same tasks and to-do’s as before, we still have only one car and I still spend all of my days alone, but there is such joy in knowing that I’m building the Lord’s house first, and that my home is built with God, for God, and because of God… and there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

All my love,